this post has been stuck in the notes on my phone for a while... one of those early morning, can't go back to sleep because my thoughts are racing kind of posts.
i like to plan things. on paper or simply in my head. i like to have control of any given situation and pretty much plan out all of the possible scenarios and outcomes in my head beforehand. i overanalyze and i am a pessimist trying hard to get to the other side. i guess you could call it controlling or obsessing but i think it's mostly me being afraid of what i don't know. sometimes i let this get in the way of enjoying the moment or even doing something at all. sometimes, if i don't get a little (or big) nudge from someone to just let go and jump, i miss out.
in the end, i am grateful for the people that convince me to just do it, no matter what reasons against it all i have come up with in that crazy head of mine. having a baby has made it even easier to just stay behind, with a baby you always have a good excuse not to do something. i personally think about things like, will he be good? hungry? get sick? where can i change him? will he get tired? fuss? scream? well, you get the point. then i start worrying about myself and whether i will make a fool of myself in a situation i've never been in before.
if something comes up that goes well beyond his bedtime i usually automatically decline. i am finally starting to be more flexible when it comes to our routine. routine has worked great for us and has blessed us with uninterrupted sleep most nights, since he was about 6 months.
this time however, with just a tiny little nudge and a little bit of fear to disappoint someone else, i let go of all my objections and just went for it. and guess what? surprise, surprise, it worked out great.
yes, bed time was involved but once again the mister rose to the occasion when he decided it was ok to just fall asleep on mama's chest. last time that happened he was still in the infant stage. these days sleeping requires a crib and a darkened room.
so of course everything worked out great. no major catastrophes happened and no one made a fool of themselves. i am glad the little mister and i are both learning to go with the flow together. in the end he is teaching his mama a thing or two about live, again and again, every day.