sorrow

I know I should probably write something happy and uplifting with it being Monday and all. You know, the whole beginning of a new week kind of thing...
Unfortunately, I don't really feel very happy tonight.
I really try to keep this blog a happy place for myself and others and I don't write very many posts like this one. It is hard for me to write posts about my feelings and views because somewhere on the inside I fear judgement and disinterest.
However, today I want to share about one thing that has really brought me down this weekend. One that will probably haunt me for a few more days to come.

Sunday started off well with the sun actually peeking through for a few too short minutes in the morning and a happy toddler that did not seem much affected by the one hour time change. We headed out to pick up an order for a friend from a store and get groceries. We had a good time doing these very mundane things just enjoying being together as a family. On the way home I checked my phone and found out that a little boy, barely much older than Logan, had fallen 11 feet down into the painted wild dog exhibit at the Pittsburgh Zoo and tragically been mauled to death.
The same exhibit we just visited not even two weeks ago on the most beautiful warm and sunny autumn day.

I remember a time where surely I found stories like this sad and unsettling but could easily move on from it. These days, stories like this bring me to tears, they make me feel sick to my stomach and make me want to squeeze my baby and not ever let him go. It is another one of those things that make me realize how much becoming a mother has truly changed me. How love can bring us so much joy and suffering at the same time.

So many nights I go to bed thinking about the chance of losing my baby, which makes me sick to my stomach and feel crazy to even mention to anyone I am close to. It makes me wonder if I'm the only one who can't shut off these horrible imaginings her brain comes up with and whether it is normal to have such thoughts? I keep thinking that it must get better once he isn't so tiny anymore. No?

I can only imagine what these parents must be going through right now. It appears that the mother was holding the child up on the barrier where he wiggled out of her grip and fell into the exhibit.
Now of course it is never a good idea to put your child in such an unsafe situation but some of the comments I have read from people on facebook and other places online just make me shake my head in awe as to what insensitive and truly hurtful things people feel the need to share with a mother and father who have just lost their child in such an awful way.

This is a horrible and truly unimaginable pain for someone to have to go though that I do not wish upon  anyone. Let us not judge and place ourselves above these parents but remember the young life lost in this tragic accident. If you don't have anything kind to say then just don't say it at all.

I am sorry if I have just made your Monday a little sad and unhappy. I promise to keep the rest of this week light as it usually is. I just needed to share my thoughts and feelings on this tragedy and how it has affected me. Thanks for understanding :)

toronto

as we prepare for whatever madness (or maybe none) frankenstorm will bring us here in western pennsylvania, I am going to share a few more pictures from our trip to toronto a couple of weeks ago.

we had a ton of fun and found toronto to be a very diverse and highly entertaining city with lots to do.
the weather was better than expected for most of the trip and we walked everywhere so I can't say much about the public transportation system, even though it seemed there were many options including a small metro system, busses and PATH (an underground network of walkways that connect different buildings, shopping and points of interest).
unfortunately, there was a ton of construction going on downtown which made it a little more difficult and unpleasant to walk sometimes, nothing to really complain about though. i'm just glad I don't have to deal with the rush hour traffic there on a daily basis.

we stayed at the westin harbour castle which was nice overall. the only let downs were that they charge $30 a night for a refrigerator!! (which we obviously declined) and also didn't offer a few of the amenities they had listed in their info booklet in the room. we had a fairly large room with a view of lake ontario and enough space for the pack'n'play logan slept in.

i caught a light cold on the way up the day before so our first day in toronto we explored the city and had a wonderful brunch at a small place called le petite dejeuner on king street east.
they were very welcoming and even had a booster seat for logan to sit in. the chef sent out a delicious waffle on the house, which he devoured and made for a very happy babe the rest of the meal.

we took a stroll through the distillery district, a village of brick-lined streets with dozens of restored victorian industrial buildings that house everything from bakeries to shops, art galleries, fashion and jewelry boutiques and restaurants. we got some coffee and tea to brace against the cold and couldn't resist the freshly baked goods at brick street bakery. the spiced apple loaf was to die for!

since I wasn't feeling 100% and we hadn't expected the wind to be so chilling, we went back to the hotel and took a nice long family nap before heading back out to check out the massive amount of downtown shopping at yonge street and the eaton centre. we also got some dinner at wait for it... red lobster. yeah, I guess we were a little out of it that night and in walking by the restaurant were overcome by a sudden craving for large portions of seafood as a result of our lack of advanced dinner planning. it was safe, it was good and we all left with full bellies.
they did not serve unsweetened iced tea so I went for sweetened and ended up with the nestea kind.
a canada thing maybe?

the next day I had pretty much planned to walk from to hotel through the entertainment district and out queen street west where you will find a ton of fabric stores, jewelry/beads suppliers mixed in with the occasional urban outfitters, american apparel and lots of small coffee shops, bars and restaurants.
we had another wonderful brunch at a place called niche coffee and tea company. the walk there took us almost an hour which was a little more than I had anticipated and we were pretty much starved by the time we got there. logan was slightly unhappy hence that wonderful shot of him above came into being. that unfortunately caused me to pass up every single one of those wonderful fabric and supply shops. such a bummer. (next time toronto, next time!)

after brunch we made our way to china town and explored kensington market - a haven for vintage lovers. again, I wish I would have had more time to shop around at all the different shops but had to limit myself. we let logan play at one of the many parks you will find strewn throughout the city and admired chased the many black squirrels that were running around everywhere.

from here we moved on through the university of toronto campus and up to bloor street which is the toronto mecca for high end fashion. on the way back we veered off of busy yonge street and took the alternate route through the lgbt-oriented church and wellesley neighborhood, made a stop at allen gardens to chase more squirrels and make friends with a few dogs, and down to st.lawrence market to check out all of the delicious food. we spotted a few restaurants on the way back to the hotel and ended up having dinner at fionn mac cool's pub on the esplanade, where it was trivia night and we had the nicest server. their tikka chicken masala boxty was delicious and made me long for more indian food in my diet.

the next morning, on our way back home we had one last brunch at lady marmalade which came highly recommended by the lovely toronto resident ana over at bluebird kisses. go check out her blog full of inspiration, parenting adventures and mostly to admire that cute and fashionable little johannes.
thanks so much for sharing this little gem with us ana! we loved it there and our bellies were filled for the 6 hour drive back home. it was a great way to end a much too short trip to toronto and we will definitely be back to explore more of this wonderful city.


on a completely different note: I will be having a huge giveaway this week to celebrate getting to 500 followers :)) I am so excited to have so many wonderful readers and you deserve to win some amazing prizes. as long as the storm doesn't have other plans for us it is likely to go up on wednesday so make sure to stop back!

also, the outfit additions giveaway is still on until friday night and you should totally enter for a chance to win $30 in jewelry from them. can't wait? order and save 25% off with code FORGE25.

yay!

it that shall not be named

jacket: jcrew, shirt: ae, denim: ae, boots: ralph lauren

you may be asking yourself if you've possibly seen me wear this before. maybe.

no? great :) 

yes? well, I guess that would have been as part of a post I did for lovestitched last week. 

unfortunately the "nasty sickness I don't really want to remember or experience ever again" bug hit us all over the past weekend and as much as I have been dreaming about actually getting dressed and trying to look decent, it just hasn't happened yet. 

i am so glad that chubby little babe of mine ended up with the lightest case of the unspeakable because mama and dada where in no good shape to take care of his recuperated and fully energized little self properly. not kidding - i couldn't stand up for more than a minute at a time on sunday. 

it's times like these I am truly thankful for a mother in law that braved the threat of contamination to come over and give us the much needed break we needed. 

thank you j's mom, we love you!!! 

ps: the 25% off coupon code for outfit additions FORGE25 ends at midnight EST tonight so don't miss out on this great offer :)) 

niagara falls

last sunday we embarked on a very spontaneous trip to toronto, canada. 

sometimes when you get in the mood to go somewhere and see something new, you just have to give into it. so we packed up most of our things, since traveling with a toddler requires lots of things, and off we went on a 6.5 hour road trip north. 

on our way we stopped in erie, pa where it was unseasonably warm and sunny, to let logan run for a while and then again once we go to niagara falls. he did pretty great in the car and enjoyed playing with his lego duplos, showing off his mad puzzle skills and watching a little horton hears a who. 

at niagara falls we ate at the worst, most overpriced romano's macaroni grill where my 9 mushroom ravioli ($23) had the most disgustingly sweet marsala sauce i've ever tasted. our waiter kept hovering and almost ripped our plates away from us before we were even close to being done. overall, not a good experience! 

once we got to toronto and checked into the hotel (we stayed at the westin harbour castle) we were all pretty tired but decided to go back out to explore the city a little bit. we ended up just grabbing street meat for dinner since we had (that gross) lunch kind of late. 

and because there are way too many pictures for one post i'll be posting more throughout the week. yup, because isn't that what a blog is for? 

have you ever been to niagara falls or toronto? 

the truth about pumpkins

no, that picture did not get in there accidentally...
this is the truth about pumpkin picking and trying to get one decent looking picture with my son.
i swear it is impossible!

but yes, we went to pick out a few pumpkins last week. lovely, bright orange, overpriced pumpkins in virtually any size imaginable.
we always go to a local farm that also has weekend festivities throughout the fall. to avoid the crowds and because we had nothing better to do on a wednesday night we put on our warmest sweaters and off we went.

logan wasn't really interested in the pumpkins but rather fond of a bright red, antique tractor. this kid has and will be around tractors all of his life. if it has a motor he's gonna go check it out. if it can be steered he will steer it.

so yeah, instead of the pictures I had imagined of him carrying around his pumpkins I got him riding the tractor, steering the cart and of course picking through rocks and mulch. oh well, I'll take it!

finally, i have to admit that seeing my two guys walking together, wearing the same shoes gave me the warm fuzzies infinitely more than any display of pumpkin affection could ever have.

to toronto

well, we are currently enjoying a very spontaneous road trip to toronto. the canada one. 

life has been hectic and quite surprising at times so we decided to leave it all behind for a few days with a little change of scenery. if you've been reading this blog for a while you already know we like to travel so nothing new there. 

we went from planning a 1-2 night getaway just the man and I, to a trip to D.C., to toronto with a stop in NYC on the way back, to how about disney world (man those orlando hotels were cheap), to no let's actually be reasonable and just drive to toronto and back. 

ha! yes, we are crazy. no really it's just yours truly. 

sooooo, long story short, while we are gone I have a few posts scheduled for you and then I'll be back by the end of the week with hopefully a ton of toronto pictures. 

now go stare at the animated gif for a while. am I the only one that has to stare at those for like forever?
the photographer man told me to purse my lips (which is one of my biggest pet peeves when looking at fashion blogger photos by the way) so I eventually gave in... enjoy ;)

Shop My Closet & Operation Christmas Child

hey everyone! hope you're having a good tuesday!

i just wanted to let you know that i updated the shop my closet section with a few new items and also took down what has sold. as i mentioned before, I signed up for a huge local re-sale event later this month and have to get everything entered by this friday the 5th! 

soooo, if you've got an eye on something don't wait any longer because chances are these things are not returning :) 

as always shipping is included within the US but just send me an email if you're outside the US and I can give you price. 

thanks so much to everyone who's already purchase before! 

the money will go towards filling my christmas shoes boxes for the samaritan's purse operation christmas child charity this year. learn more by clicking on the link.

i've been filling these boxes for a few years and love doing it because it means I get to shop.

you all know if it involves shopping I am all for it ;) 

no seriously, it's a very small, inexpensive thing that everyone can do to brighten a child's christmas. 

i know that my family is blessed with more than enough "stuff", a roof over our heads, our health and most of all love. i know that I constantly struggle with my own consumerism and I often need a reminder that there are so many people out there in the world, especially children, that don't have much at all. 

so if you're a little bit like me, then this is your reminder for today ;) 

i really hope you'll join me this year! 

chicago again

just the last of the chicago pictures today. we really did have a great time and I didn't realize until a few days ago that this was really our goodbye to summer this year. we came home to much cooler temperatures and even the leafs are now starting to turn. 

a few things to do if you're ever in chicago, with or without a toddler:

• the free zoo at lincoln park. gates are wide open and you just walk in and out as you please. lincoln park reminded me a little bit of parts of central park in nyc. the zoo is a decent size with all kinds of different animals. it was an easy walk from very top of michigan avenue where our hotel was and along lake michigan. 
• fun on the beach at lake michigan. like i said, it's right there downtown and when we stopped i didn't realize how eager logan was to actually get in the water... good thing we had backup clothes.
• very touristy things like a visit to millennium park to take pictures of yourself in the bean and a walk up state street to take a picture of the chicago theater and of course stop at american apparel ;) 
• the shedd aquarium to see the beluga whales. they recently had a baby but you can't see them at this point while the mom and babe are still bonding. 
• walk along lakefront trail. just make sure no runners or bikers run you over. seriously crazy there.
• navy pier
• wicker park for all your hipster needs 
• john hancock observatory

eat at:

• pizano's pizza and pasta
• bar toma
• cheesecake factory
• tempo cafe for breakfast
• mike ditka's 
• sprinkles cupcakes (go early, the line is crazy in the evening)

shop at:

• topshop
• zara
• urban outfitters
• american apparel
• intermix
• h&m 
• anthropologie
• the disney store
• atrizia
• free people 
• diesel
• ugg australia
• lululemon 

next time I want to go on one of those architectural cruises through the city. so much more to do there!